Wednesday, October 7, 2009

pictures of my puppy

We found this bottle on the street coming home from the park. It was just too funny so I had to take a picture!
Kenji's Christmas present

This is how she sleeps...
She is just super cool with my shades on. I want to get her her own pair of hot pink glasses.
On our road trip from Roseville. Sadie looking out at one of the channels we crossed.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Pictures from the Dog Whisperer



Cesar, Kenji and myself. We didn't purposefully match. Thats just how good we are!

Daddy....One of the coolest moments of my life. This dog is one of my heroes.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Dog Whisperer

For me the day started off at 6:00am, I woke up with a stomach ache and nerves. Took a shower and did my hair and make-up for the first time in a couple of months.

The crew arrived at 8:30 but didn't come inside until 9:06 so for 36 minutes I was pacing and waiting for them to come to the freaking door. I was unbelievably nervous.

They finally came to the door and a train of 6 people came in and filled the living room with Sadie barking up a storm in the background. They explained the game plan and began filling the house with filming equipment. Chris (one of the video guys) filmed Sadie's behavior, trying to get her to be affectionate with Kenji, myself and Laura. It didn't work so well. We filmed her barking and taking treats then went off to the park where he filmed her off leash. She was a lot more friendly with him there and with the rest of us. She also attacked Duke when I gave him attention. After that we went back to house for the interviews.

I was first --got in my chair and had the make-up lady "powder my nose" I felt like a movie star, all mic-ed up, crowded with bright lights and getting my make-up done. My interview lasted about 20 minutes where I told the many stories of my beloved dog. Then it was Kenji's turn, then Laura's.

All of our interviews required serious furniture adjustments so make sure to look for them when you watch the episode.

After all of the interviews were done the room was re-arranged one last time --this time though, it was for the big consultation with Cesar. The 3 of us waited patiently for him (he was getting his make-up done) when he walked in. It was amazing -- he looked just like he did on the show, but he was in my living room, and she shook my hand! he sat down, adjusted his mic and we began with the infamous "How can I help you?" question.

I began and we had a pretty lengthy conversation about Sadie's behaviors, the history of dogs, roles of people and dogs and so on. Not sure how much of it will be used for the actual show....we shall see. After the cameras were turned off we continued our converstaion for about 15 minutes or so where Cesar began to hit me where it hurt. He revealed a lot of stuf about me and my selfish desires. That in a relationship you need to care about what the other person, in this case, other dog, cares about and what they need to make them happy. I was completely called it. I wasn't caring or even thinking about Sadie really needed. I was a typical owner, I was part of the problem.

It was lunch time where I had time to think about everything he said and get in the mindset I needed to be in - Pack Leader.

An hour or so later they came back and Cesar walks in the house with none other than Daddy. I just about cried. I was more starstruck with him than I was with Cesar! Sadie and Duke did their introductions where Daddy just showed the way. He put them in their place when they needed to be and tolerated them when it was okay. He walked around our house and Sadie followed while Cesar described the behavior that was taking place.

About 15 minutes later Sadie came and sat at my feet completely calm and then laid down. In front of EVERYONE! It was great to see her so relaxed in front of a room full of strangers. We talked some more and he gave us pointers on what behavior is good to reward and what isn't.

Kenji and I then left so Laura could work on things while we were "gone". 15 minutes later we came back in and saw her socializing outside with all of the people. Amazing. Cesar again shared some pointers and quizzed us. I think I passed....

We went back inside and then Sadie followed. And came and laid down at our feet again. Amazing.

We went into my room to see how she acts when she gets territorial. He corrected her staring and pre-attack behavior. It was great to have my eyes open to behavior I never noticed before.

It was at that moment where he said he was done. That Sadie was an "easy" case and things should be good from here on out. Amazing! While the crew was setting up for the last interviews Kenji and I had a chance to talk with him about somethings which was great. He was such a great, easy going guy. He did his last remarks while we went out and took pictures with Daddy, came back in took pictures with him and then he went on his marry way.

He left us with a signed copy of his book "A Member of the Family", a DVD of Mastering Leadership, T-shirts and a "perscription" where he wrote down all of the things we talked about and then signed it.

So Great. The show is suppose to air sometime in 6 months. In 2 months Todd (the field producer) will be out again to film our "follow up".

I'm so happy with things that happened today. Cesar helped so much, in my personal life and in the life with Sadie. I can't wait to do more things with her and hopefully eventually train her to be a therapy dog.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

running

Have you ever felt that you just want to run away? And keep running until you find yourself in a completely new place, with new people and new expectations? This has been my dream for the last week.
Though I know God is faithful and good and gives everlasting joy I still find myself overwhelmed with depression and guilt. How do I chose what to do?
My heart is torn between loves
My mind is torn between thoughts
and My body is torn between places.

Will I ever have peace about one thing in my life? Will God ever give me a break from this anxiety and grief? What sin have I welcomed into my life that has left me with this sort of pain? How can God free me from it? How can I follow him knowing that I will hurt other people?

Jesus take me up to the heavens so I can be made whole.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Reflection

Several weeks have now come and gone and I would say that I have completely adjusted to being back in the states. However not a day goes by where I don't think about the houses we cleaned, the people we met and the lives Christ touched.

The first week in Real Action was probably my favorite week. There was a plan, a goal and team all with the same purpose: to bring Glory to Christ. Over 100 people from all over Europe and even the states were there to work together and bring hope to Sandomierz. So many friendships were made and I think that forever all of us will look back on that week and know that the Lord was with us and blessed our work there.

The projects consisted of fence painting, playgroundd cleaning, light post and railing painting and house/apartment renovating. The picture to the left is of the man whose house we cleaned. The conditions in which he lived were not humane. There was no toilet, no kitchen, spiders everywhere, no shower, no running water, garbage filled the house. This man seemed to be the poster child for being hopeless. We had the chance to share the love of Christ and clean his house, paint the walls, clean out and paint his room where there was tar on the ceiling and walls from a coal stove in his room.

We hope to remain in contact with him through postcards and e-mails and to maybe see him next year we are there for Real Action 2010.

The following week we went back to Zakosciele and helped out at the camp. There were no PROeM camps during this time because there was a college group using the facility. This group have representatives from over 50 countries in Europe and were there to be trained to go back to their college campuses and lead other students to Christ. We had the chance to get to know some of them, and serve them in any way we could. It was during this week that we cleaned a house in a near by town.

This house belonged to elderly handicapped man who has been completely forgotten by society. Upon arriving to his house we all had to run out because the smell was so bad. There were flys every where, trash everywhere; filth everywhere. When we got there the man was sitting on his futon watching a polish sit com, wearing old cut off shorts, snow boots and no T-shirt. A pot belly was evidence of heavy beer drinking and minimal food intake. He could barley walk so his form of transportation was shuffling across the black floors.

The first mission was to throw everything away, and that we did. A group worked on the kitchen were there was pots on the stove with unidentifiable food plastered to the bottom. Some pan's only salvation was the garbage. Old packaged Matza bread was the only edible food insight. Aged apple cores decorated the living room with flys swarming around.

For the first hour or so he thought we were trying to steal his belongings even after multiple attempts of explaining what we were doing. He tried to get dressed when we realized he had company, however he didn't know how to. His collard shirt was inside out and his left arm never found the correct hole and resided with his neck in the larger hole stretching over his bony shoulder. I offered my services but his lack of English and understanding, and my lack of polish and understanding, nothing came of it.

He owned two refrigerators, only one occupied and working. This experience was one I did not partake in. When opened a smell filled the house that caused stomachs to turn, eyes to water and mouths to cough, that is to anyone new in the house. He had no problem drinking and beer and an old sandwich from this case. When some people attempted to clean it they found a rotten chicken, or chicken bones, at the bottom sitting in a pool of some liquid crawling with maggots. The rest of the items were unidentified but the worked had to cover their faces with cloth and hold their breath as they hosed it down.

Half way through the day we noticed a room attached to the kitchen, it was locked but keys were found on the accompanied window. We were all curious to see what was kept behind the locked door if the stuff in the open was that atrocious. To our surprise it was a bedroom that was cleaner than any of us could even imagine. It seems to have been untouched for years, but had to have been because of the lack of dust and dirt. A large teddy bear sat on a shelf overlooking dolls, an immaculate bed and carpet. We quickly shut the door afraid of upsetting our new friend and not having a chance to really inspect it. Shortly after someone noticed the calendars in his room, all still left on the year 2005.

The sheets in his cupboards were still clean and nicely folded, the sheets on his bed seem to have been soiled for years. Did some one leave him? Did they die? Could he possibly have absolutely no one to look after him? I found pictures on a shelf from years ago of him and a woman. Was this his wife? The only person in the world who cared? It amazes me that there was no justice for this man, this human. That he is completely content with living like this.

With only a couple more hours to go in the day he disappeared behind his barn of chickens and pigeons to return with a round yellow tub of green apples he picked from his tree. His main source of food. It was his way of saying thank you. A more sacrificing act then I have seen in many Americans, including myself.

We were able to bring him new groceries, clothes and bedding that day. And as we left we out a new shirt on him and his smile grew to a size I hadn't seen all day. He repeated as we left "its clean, its clean" with grateful eyes.

I left that afternoon with tears and a broken heart. What if this was my grandfather? My father? My brother? My husband? So hopeless, clueless, abandoned.

We returned several days later to bring him a new loaf of bread and a polish magazine with testimonies of people who found Jesus, praying that he will be able to read it and understand.

That experience is one that is in my mind every day, I pray Jesus rescues him from the pain he is living in and finds rest.

The third week was English camp. Fun times. I was in a cabin with 6 10 year old polish girls. So much fun. I couldn't understand them so much, and they couldn't understand me but I had a chance to give them hugs and show them I was there for them, and for JesusThese are the girls who were in my cabin. Laura, the girl in the snoopy shirt was the one who shared a room with me. We became friends. It was her first camp ever, and she had no friends. I was able to really relate to her so I befriended her. As the week went on she was able to be friends with all of the other girls and had such a great time. We are keeping in contact through e-mail and I hope to see her next year at camp!


So many amazing times happened in Poland and I praise God for the opportunity, the support and friendships. God is so much bigger than we can imagine, His majesty, hope and power was displayed for this 3 weeks and I know it is continually displayed through PROeM and all of the believers there.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

The Final Stretch

Well here we are, it is Saturday night and we are in our last weekend here in Poland. The kids come tomorrow and our week in the English camp begins. Kenji also leaves tomorrow and I am having a really hard time accepting it. He has been such a support for me here so I am nervous and excited to see how I am going to respond to him being gone. I am trying to trust that God is going to use me this week even without Kenji, the past two weeks have been so amazing serving God together; I think we had a total of 7 people believe we were married and continue to refer to us as husband and wife even though we corrected them.

Anyways it has been so clear these past couple of weeks that God is sovereign over everything and there is nothing we can do to run from Him -- we are completely out of control and as terrifying as this truth is there is a deep sense of comfort to be found in Him. This week I am going to be as far away from my comfort zone as I have ever been before and I know that there is nothing I can do besides find my identity in Him and rest in that.

God is good and His mercy endures forever.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Second week....

So last week was completely amazing at Real Action and this week is going great as well. It is a little slow since this week there is another organization using the facility but we are still busy. Monday we helped out with a basketball tournament for them and helped serve some fire roasted sausages (Yum!) Yesterday the girls helped out at the preschool that PROeM started and the guys helped out at the church they planted.

Last night my new friend Christy from Kentucky and I were talking about all of the fruit from this ministry. Its amazing to see....the preschool has now over 100 kids that are non-christian coming and learning the gospel, the families are then also introduced to the gospel through this. God is so good even though what he asks us to do is difficult.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Unity...

So, almost a week is down here in Poland. Currently we are at a "festival" called Real Action. It has been amazing to see the way that God is working here through people from different nations. I have worked on two different projects; one was re-painting a playground and the other was re-painting a fence. Kenji and I have enjoyed working with people from all over Poland and different countries. Every night and morning we gather as a big group and worship, it is a perfect demonstration of unity within the body. We worship in Polish and English and the message is translated from Polish to English for all of us Americans and non-Polish speaking people.

The language is very difficult to learn but I am trying with very small phrases such as "I don't speak Polish". The work is very tiring but worth it to see the Lord glorified in this city. I am so encouraged to hear of all of the stories that are taking place through all of the different projects happening throughout the town. However I am not so encouraged from all of the mosquitoes that are here in Poland. Every day we are eaten alive! I probably have over 500 bites on my body!

On Saturday we are having a concert/party for the conclusion of this festival. So please be praying for that, that people in this town will see Gods love and grace through our work.

On Sunday we leave for Zakosciele where we will stay for the remainder of our time. I love it here and am so excited to see what is next one our trip.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

First day!

Hello Everyone!

If you have read Chrissy and Larry's blog you heard that we had a great but long flight. The delay in London was not that fun but we made it Poland! Thank you so much for all of your prayers it was very evident on the flight. David was amazing and sept a good portion of the way and when he wasn't sleeping he was, as usual, the best baby ever!

I am so excited to be here with this group of people. The Polish people are so amazing and friendly. We are still getting familiar with the language and the culture but so far so good.

Tomorrow we leave for another city (I have no idea how to spell or pronounce it) for the week where we will help paint and renovate a building. It is going to be great so please keep us in your prayers. The land is so beautiful here it is so easy to see the Glory of the Lord. I can't wait to start building relationships with these people!!!

On another side note...while on the plane to London I got a call from the Dog Whisperer (in December I sent in a film about my dog) and they want to shoot my story!!!! So in the next season you will see me and my dog!!! I am so excited.

Hope all is well! Love you all

Heather

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

2 day count down!

A little over 24 hours and we will be heading to LAX to take off for our trip! Thanks again to all of you who have supported me and the rest of our team. It really is an amazing experience to see how the Lord is providing. I am getting really nervous, but also very excited to go to Poland. So please keep us all in your prayers.

The Lord is so faithful in all things!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Amazed

I am in such awe of how faithful the Lord is! This whole journey of raising support to go to Poland has been so amazing and encouraging to see how He is providing the funds for me to go. The way the body has surrounded around the 4.5 of us has shown Christ's love in a way that I have never seen before!
Please continue to pray for us as the Lord prepares our hearts to ministry to the polish people!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

understanding to love

Someone once said that in order to love someone you must understand them. As I think about this statement I question how I can understand someone else if I don't even understand myself.
Is it even possible to fully understand another?
God calls us to love our neighbor, love the nations and to love Him. However God is so infinite that we can't even begin to understand His entire Being -- how are we to love Him then?

What is required of us is to expand our hearts to a selfless realm where we want so badly to understand the one beside us that our own understanding becomes minuscule, and through that we will better understand ourselves.
So now the hard part is to lay down our own struggles, pains, frustrations and even joys to see our neighbor's struggles, pains, frustrations and joys and walk with them in understanding loving them in Christ.


It amazes me sometimes as I drive on the freeway and notice the other drivers. I try to look at their faces and imagine just what kind of day they are having, who they are and what they have been through. It is so easy to see them as just an object that makes an appearance in your life for a moment as you pass. But they are real people who could be losing their mom to cancer, lost their job or committing their lives to the Lord. We have no idea but what if we all desired to know? and even if we never speak, at those moments we lift them up in prayer, in love?

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Moving on

Graduation has come gone and so has my undergrad college career. A moment that is commonly noted as a milestone in our lives. I am trying to remember each year and treasure the moments of joy, sorrow and contentment as I continue on in this journey. The Lord has been faithful through every season whether I realized it not and I am trusting that He will continue to be faithful in the years to come.

In a month and a half I will follow Him to Poland where a team of us will minister to polish children and staff of a Christian Organization. I am excited and anxious as this trip will be yet another milestone in the scrapbook. Larry and Chrissy Soderlund as well as Kenji and myself will be there for several weeks preforming any task that needs to be done and loving these precious children.

He is so faithful and full love.
I am eager to see the fruit from this time.

I will be using this blog as a way to communicate to my family and friends in the states and give updates on our work in Poland.

Your prayers are greatly appreciated as this is my first international missions trip!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

falling into truth

My eyes try to burn the image of his face into my memory as he stares into my eyes. Will this be the last time he is here?
I knew at one point that this is what I wanted but now that its here - is it right? Will I ever know if it is right?
I do love him. I have never had feelings for anyone as I had for him. But where have they gone? Is it the progression of relationships, that things come in and out as seasons do?
I miss the spring.
But the winter produces such strength. Why do I feel so weak?
The words were truth that came from my lips, or at least I hope they were. I don't feel that I truly know anything anymore. I thought I did. I thought I had it all figured out and I was so sure. I was ready to give everything I had.
What happened? Why have I been born with an eternal doubt? Maybe I am one of those who God blesses to be single. Is that where He wants me?
But I feel so - -complete with him; with anyone.

I hate how movies make things out to be so dramatic and epic as if every relationship involves some radical motion. I don't want that so don't make me think that that is how it is going to be.

But I do love him. I have never met anyone so loving and generous and honest.
Will I ever be able to completely let myself go to the point of being able to love like he does?
I want to be back in the Spring. I knew what I wanted then.
I need a peace. A peace that's everlasting.
I want to go Home. Where we have no more choices to make because all we have to do is worship the living, worthy God.
I don't want to hurt him but I know I am. All I can say is that I love you. All I know is that I love you but I love Him more.

The Lord is Sovereign.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

So tired

I hate when my mind races constantly. Every thought of the day becomes a battle it seems and its wearing me out.
I want to just breath and move on, but things just never feel good enough. Whether I'm watching a movie and comparing my situations the characters or if I'm in conversation with friends comparing my situations to theirs I'm always falling short, or feeling like I'm doing something wrong.

Why can't I get it through my head that things are different for every person, and I only need to compare to the One who will judge me at the end of the life?

I'm just too stubborn to understand or figure it out it seems.

The only viable solution is to run away and start over and hope things go better.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Ready to jump..no wait...yeah...I think so.

As time of prayer, thought and discussion have come and gone I finally feel at ease about a couple of things. (PRAISE GOD)
Though I may be scared of certain things now, there is no need of a committment anytime soon. How often do people my age forget about this? The pressures of society on the 20-somethings is rediculous. No wonder the divorce rate is so high.
I refuse to give in.

I want to jump -- into the excitement of the now, experience love without holding back. I want to say yes.
As scared as I may be, with slight hesitation I am oh so tired of fearing regret.

I'm ready to fall and rely on the Lord to guide me, to jump off of the balance beam as some may say.

forgetting what lies behind I press on to what lies ahead.

The Lord is good. I think I may be starting to really, honestly believe this.

In His grace.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Growing up already?

So as graduation is slowly but quickly approaching I once again find myself in a whirlwind of anxiety. It does not seem like 4 years have come and gone. The reality of life is staring me in the face and I want to run and hide under the blanket of my youth in my parents house. Is it bad to be this scared of not only graduating, but potentially getting married, finding a career and supporting myself completely?

I know it's exciting and I've been waiting for this time for 21 years, however I am finding out that the world we live in is not so sweet. Its a world with high divorce rates, no jobs avaiable and dissapointment around every corner. Yes I know this sounds terribly depressing and that the entire world isn't as horrible as I may make it out to be, but the truth of this situation is that I have never been so unsure, so scared in my entire life.

The only thing I am left to do is to stop and breathe. Realize that there is something bigger than the economy, bigger than a marriage and thats the only thing that I need to focus on. Jesus' grace surpasses every tiral I may face, every time I may fall, every decision I get wrong. I can only pray that my eyes will be on the One who is worth it all, the One who will hopefully say at the end "well done my good and faithful servent"